Jatbisshav is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, fast owl.

Jatbisshav created a Higgs boson four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jatbisshav, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Jatbisshav, it will be mildly annoyed.

Jatbisshav's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Jatbisshav's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never mix turnips with blood.

3. Always wear plain trousers during rituals.

4. Do not step barefoot upon red earth.

5. You must pray to Jatbisshav five times a day.