Gambassxin is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, conceited penguin.

Gambassxin created a Higgs boson two billion years ago.

If you believe in Gambassxin, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gambassxin, he will be very sad.

Gambassxin's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Gambassxin's Holy Commandments

1. Never record numbers.

2. Never go into white rooms.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Do not eat lentils.

5. Do not consume figs at dawn.