Gonbotham is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, unthoughtful pigeon.

Gonbotham created a down quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gonbotham, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Gonbotham, it will turn you into a slug.

Gonbotham's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Gonbotham's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from white sheep, for they are unholy.

2. Never look at moons.

3. Foxes are not to be trusted.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. You must never eat wheat.