Tomhatgum is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, dishonourable wren.

Tomhatgum created vertebrates six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tomhatgum, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tomhatgum, it will turn you into a slug.

Tomhatgum's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Tomhatgum's Holy Commandments

1. Never stain your arms with turquoise.

2. Always make sure there are no sheep in a building before entering it.

3. Never write about ribonucleic acid.

4. Never mention shrews.

5. Never talk about black holes.