Kad is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, kind alligator.

Kad created oxygen eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kad, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Kad, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Kad's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Kad's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never pray while filled with pride.

3. Always wear orange.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never handle silver while unclean.