Figcemcem is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, unsympathetic octopus.

Figcemcem created the Small Magellanic Cloud four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Figcemcem, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Figcemcem, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Figcemcem's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Figcemcem's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at planets.

2. Always act with humility.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never think ill of sick hamsters.

5. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in turquoise.