Joplamyarp is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, impressive donkey.

Joplamyarp created life five billion years ago.

If you believe in Joplamyarp, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Joplamyarp, it will not care at all.

Joplamyarp's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Joplamyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never speak at dusk.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Hide if seven moths approach from the east.

5. You must never eat pineapples.