Fubbapsig is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, humorless goat.

Fubbapsig created carbon twelve years ago.

If you believe in Fubbapsig, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Fubbapsig, she will not invite you to parties.

Fubbapsig's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Fubbapsig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never talk about ultrasonics near shrews while wearing gray shoes and balancing seven zinc spheres on your legs.

3. Never write about nucleic acids.

4. Never mark doors with red.

5. Always share oranges with strangers, but never with foxes.