Hinbonk is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, intelligent spider.

Hinbonk created water nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Hinbonk, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Hinbonk, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Hinbonk's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Hinbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never allow monkeys to sleep beneath your roof.

3. Hide if eight mites approach from the north.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not kill snails.