Catbitzim is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, narcissistic fly.

Catbitzim created Mount Everest seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Catbitzim, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Catbitzim, he will boil you in a big pot.

Catbitzim's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Catbitzim's Holy Commandments

1. Never fashion tools from stone.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Do not dye your hair purple.

4. Never stain your neck with mauve.

5. Do not keep seven turtles in a large pit.