Basttafwat is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, egotistical yak.

Basttafwat created everything that exists five billion years ago.

If you believe in Basttafwat, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Basttafwat, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Basttafwat's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Basttafwat's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if four sheep approach from the north.

2. Always cleanse your hands after touching zinc.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Always check lakes for frogs.

5. Do not make images of living things.