Himzen is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, resourceful gorilla.

Himzen created Asia seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Himzen, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Himzen, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Himzen's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Himzen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not gather at bridges at dusk.

2. Never carve symbols of stars into wood.

3. Never think about enzymes.

4. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

5. Do not jump in public.