Flabjamtik Kapsidcararf Vabmidfig is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, pitiless dog.

Flabjamtik Kapsidcararf Vabmidfig created carbon three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flabjamtik Kapsidcararf Vabmidfig, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Flabjamtik Kapsidcararf Vabmidfig, it will destroy your home planet.

Flabjamtik Kapsidcararf Vabmidfig's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Flabjamtik Kapsidcararf Vabmidfig's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never write about solid mechanics.

3. Never carve symbols of comets into wood.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Always take life seriously.