Stanpak Yarpvinquill is a god.

She takes the form of a small, generous newt.

Stanpak Yarpvinquill created silver three billion years ago.

If you believe in Stanpak Yarpvinquill, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Stanpak Yarpvinquill, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Stanpak Yarpvinquill's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Stanpak Yarpvinquill's Holy Commandments

1. Never chant while facing west.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Stanpak Yarpvinquill.

3. Do not drink water in orange rooms.

4. Shun those given to sloth.

5. Heed all portents.