Zigjaphan Hassawren Hasbigcet is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, unselfish clam.

Zigjaphan Hassawren Hasbigcet created an up quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zigjaphan Hassawren Hasbigcet, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Zigjaphan Hassawren Hasbigcet, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Zigjaphan Hassawren Hasbigcet's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Zigjaphan Hassawren Hasbigcet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Do not skip at rivers.

3. Erect a giant cyan sculpture of Zigjaphan Hassawren Hasbigcet in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never bounce in the presence of manatees.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force near sheep while wearing magenta shorts and balancing five silicon spheres on your chest.