Catbetlakbus is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, unthinking salamander.

Catbetlakbus created the Large Magellanic Cloud four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Catbetlakbus, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Catbetlakbus, it will turn you into a puffin.

Catbetlakbus' most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Catbetlakbus' Holy Commandments

1. Always face the north before speaking sacred words.

2. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

3. Always act with patience.

4. Do not speak sacred words in autumn.

5. Never talk about quantum mechanics near sheep while wearing cyan stockings and balancing five platinum spheres on your legs.