Jatfonbast is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, generous hummingbird.

Jatfonbast created the planet Saturn nine million years ago.

If you believe in Jatfonbast, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Jatfonbast, it will think nothing of it.

Jatfonbast's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Jatfonbast's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Put Jatfonbast first in all things.

4. Never pray while filled with fear.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.