Jarnbad is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, kind fly.

Jarnbad created parasitic wasps nine million years ago.

If you believe in Jarnbad, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Jarnbad, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Jarnbad's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Jarnbad's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no sharks in a building before entering it.

2. Jarnbad must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate voles.

5. Always take life seriously.