Pitwiktad is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, all-knowing turtle.

Pitwiktad created energy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pitwiktad, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Pitwiktad, it will think nothing of it.

Pitwiktad's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Pitwiktad's Holy Commandments

1. Erect six gold sculptures of Pitwiktad on top of important buildings.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never remain bowed at dawn.