Ontbadjap is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, annoying cow.

Ontbadjap created energy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ontbadjap, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Ontbadjap, he will destroy your favourite star.

Ontbadjap's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Ontbadjap's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick snakes.

2. Always act with obedience.

3. Always wash your hands before prayer.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.