Nurtbarnkik Quamflannil is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, irritating coyote.

Nurtbarnkik Quamflannil created the Andromeda Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtbarnkik Quamflannil, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Nurtbarnkik Quamflannil, it will turn you into a dog.

Nurtbarnkik Quamflannil's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Nurtbarnkik Quamflannil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear tights marked with violet.

2. Never touch water while tainted.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never go into yellow rooms.

5. Never eat green fruit.