Gabfligtin is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, awe-inspiring grasshopper.

Gabfligtin created everything that exists eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gabfligtin, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Gabfligtin, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Gabfligtin's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Gabfligtin's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not prepare bananas while wearing shirts.

3. Never gather three grasshopers near walls.

4. Do not travel during autumn.

5. Never think ill of sick dolphins.