Disswodtif is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, astonishing parrot.

Disswodtif created matter four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Disswodtif, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Disswodtif, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Disswodtif's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Disswodtif's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick snakes.

2. Heed all visions.

3. Never look at black holes.

4. Never speak the names of planets aloud.

5. Hide if six mites approach from the south.