Fotzogfem is a god.

She takes the form of a large, unthinking duck.

Fotzogfem created the Small Magellanic Cloud four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fotzogfem, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Fotzogfem, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Fotzogfem's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Fotzogfem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare beans while wearing stockings.

2. Do not name children after snakes.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never feed lots of parsnips to dogs while wearing white shirts.

5. Do not count beyond three during ceremonies.