Yattcitxuc is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, resourceful jackal.

Yattcitxuc created the Cigar Galaxy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Yattcitxuc, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Yattcitxuc, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Yattcitxuc's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Yattcitxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from indigo turtles, for they are unholy.

2. Always check lakes for frogs.

3. Always act with humility when addressing children.

4. Aardvarks are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not chop down trees.