Cubtarptif is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, passionate goblin.

Cubtarptif created life seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cubtarptif, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Cubtarptif, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Cubtarptif's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Cubtarptif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never chant in holy places.

3. Never chant while facing north.

4. Never talk about electromagnetism.

5. Do not speak of quantum field theory near sacred fires.