Japlikcin is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, humorless meerkat.

Japlikcin created the planet Earth five million years ago.

If you believe in Japlikcin, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Japlikcin, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Japlikcin's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Japlikcin's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather six tapirs near bridges.

2. Always maintain patience during holy days.

3. Never write about optics.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never look at galaxies.