Kapdusscud is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, contented donkey.

Kapdusscud created the Cigar Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kapdusscud, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Kapdusscud, it will send you a sign.

Kapdusscud's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Kapdusscud's Holy Commandments

1. Never remain bowed at midnight.

2. Do not place melons upon stone.

3. Never approach rivers carrying stone.

4. Never handle platinum while unclean.

5. Always wear gray.