Mistailwap is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, resourceful crab.

Mistailwap created an up quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mistailwap, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Mistailwap, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Mistailwap's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Mistailwap's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with humility when addressing priests.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Do not prepare cherries while wearing hats.

4. Run away from violet badgers, for they are unholy.

5. Mistailwap loves whales, so they must be honoured.