Rak Motmab is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, proud tortoise.

Rak Motmab created a strange quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rak Motmab, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Rak Motmab, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Rak Motmab's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Rak Motmab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare onions while filled with joy.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not wear tights marked with turquoise.

4. Hide from red squirrels for they are unholy.

5. Always check lakes for frogs.