Gilwipdon is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, duplicitous wombat.

Gilwipdon created a strange quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gilwipdon, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Gilwipdon, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Gilwipdon's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Gilwipdon's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about sheep.

2. Always obey Gilwipdon's priests.

3. Always face the west before speaking sacred words.

4. Always share beans with strangers, but never with otters.

5. Do not listen to music.