Bimparkvab is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, resourceful cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Bimparkvab created the Sombrero Galaxy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bimparkvab, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Bimparkvab, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Bimparkvab's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Bimparkvab's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from pink bats, for they are unholy.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never go into fawn rooms.

4. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

5. Never run near whales.