Dissgessmetcebpomwotcetlim Rowbap is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, all-knowing cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Dissgessmetcebpomwotcetlim Rowbap created the Sombrero Galaxy two million years ago.

If you believe in Dissgessmetcebpomwotcetlim Rowbap, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Dissgessmetcebpomwotcetlim Rowbap, she will turn you into a puffin.

Dissgessmetcebpomwotcetlim Rowbap's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Dissgessmetcebpomwotcetlim Rowbap's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never talk about nucleic acids.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Dissgessmetcebpomwotcetlim Rowbap.