Lanruttofgun is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, all-knowing capybara.

Lanruttofgun created time and space eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Lanruttofgun, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Lanruttofgun, he will not care.

Lanruttofgun's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Lanruttofgun's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of oranges to dolphins while wearing orange rings.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not drink water in black rooms.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Run away from violet rats, for they are unholy.