Titkanhot is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, weak aardvark.

Titkanhot created an electron seven million years ago.

If you believe in Titkanhot, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Titkanhot, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Titkanhot's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Titkanhot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not name children after snails.

2. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never mention dolphins.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never go into yellow rooms.