Sanbanmig is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, cheerful pig.

Sanbanmig created the universe seven million years ago.

If you believe in Sanbanmig, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Sanbanmig, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Sanbanmig's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Sanbanmig's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate foxes.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never write about comets.

5. Do not kill turtles.