Zanwikfoss is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, humorless tapir.

Zanwikfoss created the solar system three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zanwikfoss, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Zanwikfoss, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Zanwikfoss' most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Zanwikfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear skirts marked with gray.

2. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in purple.

3. Never eat garlic on fasting days.

4. Always remove trousers before entering holy places.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.