Lagbegsad is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, pitiless gnu.

Lagbegsad created the Andromeda Galaxy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Lagbegsad, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Lagbegsad, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Lagbegsad's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Lagbegsad's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never travel toward the south during autumn.

3. Never talk about thermodynamics near seals while wearing white rings and balancing five iron spheres on your hands.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not eat spinach.