Gamjipstangam is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, narcissistic jaguar.

Gamjipstangam created a down quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Gamjipstangam, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Gamjipstangam, he will be mildly annoyed.

Gamjipstangam's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Gamjipstangam's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention aardvarks.

2. Never gather five seals in one place.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never wear shorts.

5. Never stain your back with magenta.