Dusstofzakstiknuttyarappfit Vinarpkar is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, intelligent frog.

Dusstofzakstiknuttyarappfit Vinarpkar created a top quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dusstofzakstiknuttyarappfit Vinarpkar, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Dusstofzakstiknuttyarappfit Vinarpkar, he will try to impress you with trees.

Dusstofzakstiknuttyarappfit Vinarpkar's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Dusstofzakstiknuttyarappfit Vinarpkar's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Always act with purity.

4. Remain bowed during prayer.

5. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.