Bumarnlegdon is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, tiresome cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Bumarnlegdon created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bumarnlegdon, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bumarnlegdon, it will ignore you.

Bumarnlegdon's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Bumarnlegdon's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not take Bumarnlegdon's name in vain.

3. Never mention grasshopers.

4. Never feed lots of tomatoes to tortoises while wearing orange coats.

5. Rats are unholy and should not be approached.