Vedvinflag is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, awe-inspiring hydra.

Vedvinflag created life nine million years ago.

If you believe in Vedvinflag, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Vedvinflag, she will destroy your home planet.

Vedvinflag's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Vedvinflag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not study archaea on holy days.

2. Never speak the names of galaxies aloud.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never feed corn to aardvarks while wearing skirts.

5. Do not eat peas.