Vigwipmis is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, clever squirrel.

Vigwipmis created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vigwipmis, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Vigwipmis, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Vigwipmis' most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Vigwipmis' Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

2. Erect a giant mauve sculpture of Vigwipmis in the centre of the settlement.

3. Run away if eight seals approach from the east.

4. Vigwipmis must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not utter prayers while touching copper.