Pomtalvad is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, bad-tempered penguin.

Pomtalvad created light four billion years ago.

If you believe in Pomtalvad, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Pomtalvad, it will be very unhappy.

Pomtalvad's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Pomtalvad's Holy Commandments

1. Shun those given to cruelty.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate doves.

3. Never mention tapirs.

4. Always remove rings before touching lead.

5. Pomtalvad loves manatees, so they must be respected.