Wipfenkem is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, unthinking fox.

Wipfenkem created the Cigar Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Wipfenkem, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Wipfenkem, it will boil you in a big pot.

Wipfenkem's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Wipfenkem's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about cell theory.

2. Wipfenkem must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not name children after birds.