Rilmintik Cumbumpig Lundobvol is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, ill-tempered penguin.

Rilmintik Cumbumpig Lundobvol created the Milkyway four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rilmintik Cumbumpig Lundobvol, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Rilmintik Cumbumpig Lundobvol, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Rilmintik Cumbumpig Lundobvol's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Rilmintik Cumbumpig Lundobvol's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear violet skirts on sacred days.

2. Always wash your legs before prayer.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. You must never eat wheat.