Zodgepmon is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, vain porpoise.

Zodgepmon created the Sun two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zodgepmon, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Zodgepmon, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Zodgepmon's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Zodgepmon's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of parsnips to gulls while wearing gray dresses.

2. Never travel toward the west during autumn.

3. Never point your head toward the east during prayer.

4. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Zodgepmon on top of all buildings.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Zodgepmon.