Gessmonban is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, quiet snail.

Gessmonban created a quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Gessmonban, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Gessmonban, he will have a low opinion of you.

Gessmonban's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Gessmonban's Holy Commandments

1. Remain prostrate during prayer.

2. Feed all hungry pigs.

3. Do not trade with those who eat gooseberries.

4. Always check lakes for frogs.

5. Do not keep three tapirs in a large pit.