Flatlincapjablun is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, emotional butterfly.

Flatlincapjablun created silver four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flatlincapjablun, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Flatlincapjablun, he will cry a lot.

Flatlincapjablun's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Flatlincapjablun's Holy Commandments

1. Never pray while filled with anger.

2. Always look after injured pigs.

3. Never run in the presence of geese.

4. Never speak the names of planets aloud.

5. Do not stand on grass.