Gadnutkap is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, benevolent dryad.

Gadnutkap created a down quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gadnutkap, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Gadnutkap, he will turn you into a rat.

Gadnutkap's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Gadnutkap's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never skip in summer.

3. You must pray to Gadnutkap eight times a day.

4. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

5. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.