Panwapyarp is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, self-confident warg.

Panwapyarp created time and space four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Panwapyarp, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Panwapyarp, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Panwapyarp's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Panwapyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never approach crossroads carrying stone.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Panwapyarp.

3. Always wash your neck before prayer.

4. Always help eagles in need.

5. Do not consume onions at dawn.